College Matters

My readers have overwhelmingly voted against parental control of major field of study, even when the parents control the finances. I’ve expanded my own perspective in response to reader information. Although I still think that financial control gives significant power and influence to the person holding the financial reins - the parents - I recognize that it is unwise parenting to dictate major regardless. I am planning to have children and plan to finance college education if these future children pursue that path. But I would never force them to pursue one degree plan or another, and I don’t think other parents should, either. My original assessment was based upon my own personal experience-I’ve historically eschewed financial dependence in order to avoid being told what to do!

However, I’m curious to what the readership response will be to another form of control: living arrangements and parameters of relationships. If a student has college financed by the parents, he or she should still get to choose his or her own major. But what about cohabitation? What if a student, like this one - a legal adult, if not a financial one - wants to move in with his or her significant other, and the parents are against such an arrangement? How to handle that? If the parents can’t dictate major, despite financial contributions, I argue that neither should they dictate living arrangements. I expect some of you to disagree…so I’m looking forward to your comments, on this blog entry and the associated advice. What do you think?

I’ve recently had the opportunity to connect with Dorm Delicious, a site that provides dorm decorating advice, which is an important part of making your dorm feel more like your own personal space - making it feel like home away from home. Of course, in most dorm situations, it’s not just your space - you share very close quarters with at least one other person. It reminded me of an advice question I answered a few months ago, from an only child freaked out at the thought of being cramped together with any other human being.

Even though it’s shared space, you can decorate it to make it more personal. Better yet, it’s a way to get to know the random stranger to whom you’ve been assigned for at least a semester. It’s an opportunity to take a trip to Target together and pick out curtains, lamps, shower curtains, etc. There are ways of combining everyone’s tastes, and there’s no better way to learn compromise and creativity than to live with a random stranger within the confines of a dorm room. Dorm Delicious offers a way for this to be even more of a bonding experience, too - they regularly hold a dorm decorating contest, which you and your new roommate could enter together! So check out their site - and don’t forget to give me your opinions on the only child’s fears about the dorms, and my accompanying advice.