Out of the Dorms and into the Fire
My readers have overwhelmingly voted against parental control of major field of study, even when the parents control the finances. I’ve expanded my own perspective in response to reader information. Although I still think that financial control gives significant power and influence to the person holding the financial reins - the parents - I recognize that it is unwise parenting to dictate major regardless. I am planning to have children and plan to finance college education if these future children pursue that path. But I would never force them to pursue one degree plan or another, and I don’t think other parents should, either. My original assessment was based upon my own personal experience-I’ve historically eschewed financial dependence in order to avoid being told what to do!
However, I’m curious to what the readership response will be to another form of control: living arrangements and parameters of relationships. If a student has college financed by the parents, he or she should still get to choose his or her own major. But what about cohabitation? What if a student, like this one - a legal adult, if not a financial one - wants to move in with his or her significant other, and the parents are against such an arrangement? How to handle that? If the parents can’t dictate major, despite financial contributions, I argue that neither should they dictate living arrangements. I expect some of you to disagree…so I’m looking forward to your comments, on this blog entry and the associated advice. What do you think?
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Well, this certainly is a hot bed. I was thinking back to my college days as related to the first issue of parents dictating a major. My parents pressed the issue a little more than to my liking, and although, they may have eventually decided to leave the choice of a major to me, I chose to handle my college bills myself and selected what I wanted to study. Now that I’m a parent, I would choose not to dictate the major for my child, although I would hope that some reasons I might give for a particular choice might at least be considered. But the choice of a major to me is up to her. This is simply a freedom I would give regardless of the cost of her education.
However; once I leave the issue of the college major and step into the non-academic arena of cohabitaion, I feel I must withdraw my financial assistance. To fund an education in a world where it is a must is a choice I would freely exercise. But if she chose to no longer concentrate on that education and felt mature enough to play house, then the financial burden would be hers.
Just call me old fashioned.. College has enough distractions as it is. Cohabitation is not on the list of majors.
AJ